Not legal advice. This article is educational and general. Estate and inheritance laws vary by state and change over time. Consult a qualified estate-planning attorney before making decisions about your will, beneficiaries, or property.
If you die without a will and you're not legally married, your partner inherits nothing by default; your money passes to the blood relatives the state recognizes instead. Intestacy law (the rules that apply when there's no will) only recognizes relationships by marriage, blood, or legal adoption. A partner you've lived with for 20 years is, in effect, a legal stranger to your estate.
Estate law was built around marriage and bloodline, so unmarried partners, close friends, and chosen family fall outside it unless you put paperwork in place. This affects a lot of LGBTQ+ people, and many don't even realize it.
Here's what happens in the event of the unthinkable, and how to plan ahead.
- Only about 1 in 5 (20%) LGBTQ+ adults have a will or estate plan, versus roughly a third of the general population. (Trust & Will / The Motley Fool)
- Just 32% of American adults have a will at all, a figure that has fallen in recent years. (Caring.com 2024 Wills Survey)
- In most states, an unmarried surviving partner inherits nothing under intestacy, regardless of how long the couple was together. (Nolo; Trust & Will)
What happens to your money if you die without a will and you're not married?
Your assets follow your state's intestacy laws, which typically give your legal relatives and bloodline your inheritance by default. Intestacy law distributes your assets to legal relatives in a set sequence: spouse and children first, then parents, then siblings, then more distant kin. An unmarried partner has no legal relationship to you, so they receive nothing by default, no matter how long you were together.
Does my unmarried partner automatically inherit my assets?
No. In most states, an unmarried partner has no automatic inheritance right at all. Intestacy only recognizes spouses, blood relatives, and legally adopted family. Six states (Connecticut, Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington) let a registered domestic partner inherit like a spouse, and a few (Texas, Colorado, and Iowa) may recognize common-law marriage in specific circumstances. Outside those narrow cases, a surviving partner inherits nothing without a will or other planning.
If I have no spouse or kids, who inherits under intestacy?
Your parents inherit before anyone else, and after that, your siblings. With no surviving spouse or children, intestacy typically passes the whole estate to your parents. If your parents are gone, it splits among your siblings; after that, it moves outward to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. If no relatives can be found, the estate escheats to the state. A partner, best friend, or chosen-family member never enters that order.
How many LGBTQ+ people have a will?
Only about 1 in 5 (20%), well below the general population, multiple studies have found. Estate-planning surveys put the LGBTQ+ wills rate near 20%, versus about a third for all adults. That gap is especially risky for queer households, where default inheritance laws are most likely to overlook a partner or chosen family. The lower a couple's reliance on marriage, the more the missing paperwork matters.
What documents override intestacy for an unmarried partner?
A will, beneficiary designations, and how you title property control who gets what, ahead of the state's default. Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance pass directly to the named person and skip probate entirely. Jointly titled property with right of survivorship (JTWROS) goes to the co-owner automatically. A valid will directs everything else, and powers of attorney and a healthcare proxy let your partner act for you while you're alive.
Do domestic partnerships or common-law marriage protect me?
Sometimes, but only in a handful of states, so don't count on it. A registered domestic partnership grants spouse-like inheritance in a short list of states, and common-law marriage is recognized in only a few (and never simply because a couple lived together a long time). Most unmarried partners have neither status by default. Treating these as a safety net is risky; a will and beneficiary designations work in every state.
What to do about it
If you're partnered but unmarried, put the paperwork in place so the law can't override your intentions.
- Check your beneficiary designations first, on retirement accounts, life insurance, and payable-on-death bank accounts, and update anyone outdated. These pass outside a will.
- Make a valid will that names your partner and anyone else you intend to provide for.
- Add a durable power of attorney and a healthcare proxy so your partner can act for you if you're incapacitated.
- Consider how key property is titled (for example, joint ownership with right of survivorship) with professional guidance.
- If you live in a domestic-partnership or common-law state, understand exactly what status you do or don't have.
- Work with an LGBTQ+-affirming estate attorney who won't miss the nuances of unmarried and chosen-family households.
LGBTQ+ estate planning FAQs
What happens to my money if I die without a will and I'm not married?+
It passes by intestacy, your state's default order, which only recognizes spouses, blood relatives, and adopted family. An unmarried partner inherits nothing by default. Assets typically go to children, then parents, then siblings, then more distant relatives.
Does my partner inherit anything if we're not married?+
In most states, no. Unless you live in one of the few states that grant domestic partners spouse-like inheritance, or you have a will, beneficiary designations, or jointly titled property, a surviving unmarried partner has no automatic right to inherit.
Who inherits if I have no spouse, no children, and no will?+
Your parents inherit first; if they've died, your siblings do; after that the estate moves to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. If no relatives can be located, the estate goes to the state. A partner or chosen family is never in this order.
How many LGBTQ+ people have a will?+
Only about 20% of LGBTQ+ adults have a will or estate plan, compared with about a third of the general population, according to estate-planning surveys reported by Trust & Will and The Motley Fool.
How can I make sure my partner inherits?+
Put documents in place that override intestacy: a valid will, up-to-date beneficiary designations on accounts and insurance, and property titled to pass to your partner. Powers of attorney and a healthcare proxy cover decisions while you're alive. An estate attorney can tailor this to your state.
Do domestic partnership or common-law marriage protect an unmarried partner?+
Only in certain states. Six states let registered domestic partners inherit like spouses, and a few recognize common-law marriage in specific circumstances, never just because a couple lived together. Most unmarried couples have neither status, so a will remains the reliable protection.
Not legal advice. This article is educational and general. Estate and inheritance laws vary by state and change over time. Consult a qualified estate-planning attorney before making decisions about your will, beneficiaries, or property.
