Yes, the disclaimer, again: This article is educational and is not financial, legal, tax, or insurance advice. Long-term care costs, insurance products, and estate-planning rules vary by state and change over time, so you should consult a qualified, LGBTQ-affirming financial or legal professional about your situation.
Retirement planning when you're not counting on kids means building a plan that doesn't assume anyone will step in for free. If you're childfree, estranged, or LGBTQ+ and unsure that family will show up, you have to fund and formalize that help yourself. Budget for long-term care, decide how you'll pay for it, and legally name the people who can act for you.
More than 22% of adults over 65 in the U.S. are already childless or estranged from their children (Journal of Aging & Social Policy), and LGBTQ+ elders are roughly twice as likely to age alone. For many families, child caregiving becomes a free, always-available resource, whether your family planned for it or not. For millions of others, however, this isn't an option, and you should prepare accordingly.
- About 70% of people turning 65 will need some form of long-term care in their lives - and 20% will need it for longer than five years (HHS / Administration for Community Living)
- A private room in a nursing home runs a median of $127,750 a year; assisted living, $70,800 a year (Genworth & CareScout Cost of Care Survey, 2024)
- Family caregivers provided an estimated $600 billion in unpaid care in 2021 (AARP, 2023)
- Roughly 8.6 million Americans over 65 are "elder orphans," aging without a spouse or children to rely on, and about 70% have not named anyone to help if they get sick (AARP; solo-aging survey data)
Why is retirement planning different when you don't have kids?
Standard retirement arrangements might assume unpaid family care that you may not have, so you have to convert that assumed help into money and legal paperwork. Adult children are the invisible backbone of U.S. long-term care: Family caregivers delivered about $600 billion in unpaid care in 2021 (AARP). Three things you'd otherwise get for free become line items: the hands-on care itself, someone to manage your money if you can't, and someone to make medical calls.
How much should I budget for long-term care?
Plan for a five-figure annual cost that most people hit for a few years, and a small chance of a very long, very expensive stay. In 2024, a private nursing-home room had a median cost of $127,750 a year, and assisted living ran $70,800 a year (Genworth & CareScout). About 70% of 65-year-olds will need some long-term care, women for about 3.7 years and men for 2.2 years on average, but 20% will need it longer than five years (HHS). Without kids to provide unpaid hours, budget to buy the care others get for free.
Should I buy long-term care insurance or self-fund it?
It's a choice between paying premiums now to transfer the risk, or earmarking a chunk of your portfolio to pay for care yourself. Traditional long-term care insurance can offset costs, but has become pricey and prone to premium hikes; hybrid life-plus-LTC policies and self-funding are common alternatives. With a private nursing-home room near $127,750 a year (Genworth & CareScout, 2024), self-funders typically ring-fence several years of that cost. The right answer depends on your assets, health, and how much certainty you want.
Related: See how a dedicated care fund fits alongside the rest of your money map in the LGBTQ+ personal finance guide.
Who makes decisions for me if I don't have children?
Whoever you legally name. If you name no one, a court or a default next-of-kin law decides, which for unmarried or estranged people can mean someone you'd never choose. You need three documents: a durable power of attorney (money and legal decisions), a healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney (medical decisions), and an advance directive or living will (your care wishes).
About 70% of solo agers have not identified anyone to help if they get sick (solo-aging survey data). Naming a trusted friend, sibling, or chosen-family member, with a backup, is the step that most protects people aging without kids.
How do I plan to age solo?
Build a care network and a housing plan on purpose, before a crisis, instead of assuming a child will handle logistics. Roughly 8.6 million Americans over 65 are aging without a spouse or children to rely on (AARP), and solo agers are a growing share of the over-50 population. Choose someone to coordinate care (a trusted person or a hired geriatric care manager / professional fiduciary), pick housing that supports aging in place or a continuing-care community, and build local social ties so you're not dependent on distant relatives who may never come.
How much extra should I save to self-fund care?
Earmark two to three years of local care costs on top of your normal retirement number—more if you want to cover a long stay yourself. At a median private nursing-home cost of $127,750 a year (Genworth & CareScout, 2024), two to three years is roughly $255,000 to $383,000 in today's dollars, before inflation. Some people cover part of it with a hybrid LTC policy and self-fund the rest, which lowers the lump sum you need to hold.
How to start your no-kids retirement plan
- Calculate your baseline retirement number (about 25x your annual expenses), then add a dedicated long-term care earmark of two to three years of local care costs.
- Get your local care numbers: Look up the Genworth/CareScout median costs for nursing homes and assisted living in your state, not the national average.
- Decide how you'll pay for care - long-term care insurance, a hybrid policy, self-funding, or a mix - and price it while you're young and healthy enough to qualify.
- Name your decision-makers now: a durable power of attorney, a healthcare proxy, and an advance directive, each with a named backup.
- Build your care network before you need it - a coordinator (trusted person or hired care manager), aging-friendly housing, and local social ties.
- Work with LGBTQ+-affirming financial and legal professionals who won't assume a spouse or adult child is waiting in the wings.
Retirement planning when you're not counting on kids FAQs
How is retirement planning different if you don't have kids?+
Standard retirement plans quietly assume unpaid family care - worth an estimated $600 billion a year in the U.S. (AARP). Without kids to provide it, you plan to self-fund long-term care and legally name decision-makers (a power of attorney and healthcare proxy) rather than defaulting to next-of-kin who may not exist or agree.
How much does long-term care cost?+
In 2024, a private room in a nursing home had a median cost of $127,750 a year and assisted living ran $70,800 a year, according to the Genworth and CareScout Cost of Care Survey. About 70% of people turning 65 will need some long-term care, and 20% will need it for more than five years (HHS).
Who makes medical decisions for me if I have no children or spouse?+
Only the people you legally name. A healthcare proxy (or medical power of attorney) names who makes medical decisions, and a durable power of attorney covers money and legal ones. If you name no one, state next-of-kin laws or a court decide - a real risk for unmarried, estranged, or LGBTQ+ people. About 70% of solo agers have not yet named anyone.
Should I buy long-term care insurance if I don't have kids?+
It's worth serious consideration, because you can't fall back on unpaid family care. The main options are traditional long-term care insurance, hybrid life-plus-LTC policies, or self-funding by earmarking part of your portfolio. Which is best depends on your assets, health, and how much certainty you want - pricing it while you're younger and healthier improves your odds of qualifying.
How much extra should I save to self-fund care?+
A practical rule of thumb is two to three years of local care costs on top of your normal retirement number. At the 2024 median private nursing-home cost of $127,750 a year, that's roughly $255,000 to $383,000 in today's dollars, before inflation - more if you want to cover a long stay entirely yourself.
What is an 'elder orphan' or 'solo ager'?+
An elder orphan (or solo ager) is an older adult aging without a spouse or adult children to rely on for care and support. Roughly 8.6 million Americans over 65 fit this description (AARP), and LGBTQ+ elders are disproportionately represented. The term is a planning cue, not a diagnosis: it means care and decision-making have to be arranged deliberately.
