A beneficiary designation overrides your will, so an unmarried partner is only protected if you name them on each account. Retirement accounts, life insurance, and pay-on-death bank or brokerage accounts pass directly to the person listed on the form, not to whoever your will names.

(Waves hands.) Did you get that? This overrides your will. It only takes a few minutes, and it can give you a lot of peace of mind.

This guide walks through what to check on each account, and the failure modes that bite unmarried couples hardest.

Key Takeaways
  • A beneficiary designation overrides your will: the person named on a retirement account, life-insurance policy, or POD/TOD account inherits it regardless of what your will says. (Edelman Financial Engines)
  • Leave the beneficiary blank (or let all named beneficiaries predecease you with no contingent) and the asset defaults into your estate and goes through probate. (SmartAsset; Fidelity)
  • ERISA's automatic spousal protection on a 401(k) applies only to a legal spouse, not to unmarried partners, domestic partnerships, or civil unions. (Ed Slott and Company)
  • In Egelhoff v. Egelhoff (2001), the Supreme Court held that ERISA preempts state laws that auto-revoke an ex-spouse's designation after divorce, so the named ex still inherits. (U.S. Supreme Court; Wiggin and Dana)
  • Insurers generally will not pay a large sum directly to a minor; a court must appoint a guardian or conservator first, which delays and complicates the payout. (Policygenius; Anchin)

Does a beneficiary designation override your will?

Yes. For the account it is attached to, the beneficiary form wins. Retirement accounts, life insurance, annuities, and pay-on-death or transfer-on-death bank and brokerage accounts pass by contract to the named beneficiary. Your will does not touch them. For many people, these accounts hold more wealth than everything the will controls, so an out-of-date form can quietly override an otherwise careful estate plan.

Why must an unmarried or queer partner be named explicitly?

Nothing names them by default, so no law fills in an unmarried partner the way it can a spouse. If you die with a blank or outdated designation, state intestacy rules distribute the asset to legal relatives, and a partner you never married is not on that list. Even ERISA's automatic spousal beneficiary rule for 401(k)s protects only a legal spouse, not a domestic partner or civil-union partner (Ed Slott and Company). Naming your partner on every form is the only reliable fix.

What happens if you leave a beneficiary blank?

The account falls into your estate and goes through probate instead of passing directly to a person. With no valid beneficiary (none named, or all predeceased and no contingent listed), the asset is distributed by your will, or by state intestacy law if you have no will (SmartAsset). Probate is public, slow, and controlled by the court's default order of relatives, which for an unmarried couple can route your money to parents or siblings rather than your partner.

Does divorce or a breakup automatically remove an ex?

No. For federally governed plans, an ex stays the beneficiary until you change the form yourself. In Egelhoff v. Egelhoff (2001), the Supreme Court ruled that ERISA preempts state statutes that try to auto-revoke an ex-spouse's designation after divorce, so the plan must pay the named ex (Wiggin and Dana). The lesson applies to any relationship: a decree, breakup, or new partner changes nothing on the form. You have to file the update.

What is the difference between per stirpes and per capita?

They decide what happens to a beneficiary's share if that beneficiary dies before you. Per stirpes ("by the branch") passes a deceased beneficiary's share down to that person's own descendants. Per capita ("by the head") splits it among your surviving named beneficiaries instead, so a deceased beneficiary's children get nothing unless you named them (Trust & Will). Picking the wrong word can redirect a large share, so choose it on purpose rather than accepting the form's default.

Should you name minor children as direct beneficiaries?

Usually, no. Insurers and custodians will not hand a large sum to a minor. If a minor is the named beneficiary, a court must appoint a guardian or conservator to hold the money, which is slow, costly, and may put an ex-partner in control of the funds (Policygenius; Anchin). The cleaner routes are a trust named as beneficiary, or a custodian under your state's Uniform Transfers to Minors Act; both let you pick who manages the money and when the child receives it.

How to double-check your beneficiary designations

  • List every account that has a beneficiary field: 401(k), IRA, HSA, pension, life insurance, annuities, and any pay-on-death (POD) or transfer-on-death (TOD) bank or brokerage account.
  • Name your partner explicitly, using full legal name and relationship; never assume a spouse or partner is the default.
  • Add a contingent (backup) beneficiary on every account so it never defaults to your estate if the primary predeceases you.
  • For a 401(k): if you are married and want to name anyone other than your spouse, get the spouse's written, notarized consent, or the designation can be overridden.
  • Choose per stirpes versus per capita deliberately, especially where you list children or multiple people.
  • Do not name minor children directly; name a trust or a UTMA custodian instead.
  • Re-check after every major life change: marriage, divorce, breakup, a move, a new account, a birth, or a death.
  • Work with an LGBTQ+-affirming estate attorney or financial planner who won't miss the nuances.

Beneficiary designation FAQs

Does a beneficiary designation override a will?+

Yes. The beneficiary named on a retirement account, life-insurance policy, or pay-on-death account inherits that asset directly, no matter what your will says. Because those accounts often hold most of your wealth, an outdated form can override your entire estate plan.

Do I need to name my partner if we aren't married?+

Yes. It is the only way an unmarried partner is protected. No default rule fills in an unmarried or queer partner; state intestacy law passes assets to legal relatives, and ERISA's automatic 401(k) spousal protection covers only a legal spouse, not a domestic partner.

What happens if I don't name a beneficiary?+

The account falls into your estate and goes through probate, then passes under your will or, with no will, under state intestacy law. Probate is slower and public, and the court's default order of relatives may route the money away from your partner.

Does divorce automatically remove my ex as a beneficiary?+

Not for federally governed plans. In Egelhoff v. Egelhoff (2001), the Supreme Court held that ERISA preempts state auto-revocation laws, so a named ex-spouse still inherits until you file a new designation. A divorce decree alone does not change the form.

Can I name my minor child as a beneficiary?+

You can, but it usually causes problems. Insurers won't pay a large sum to a minor, so a court must appoint a guardian or conservator to manage it. Naming a trust or a UTMA custodian instead lets you choose who controls the money and when the child receives it.

How often should I review my beneficiary designations?+

At least once a year, and immediately after any major life event, including marriage, divorce, a breakup, a new partner, a birth, a death, or opening a new account. Designations don't update themselves, so a quick annual audit prevents the most common mistakes.

Educational content, not legal or financial advice. Beneficiary and estate rules vary by state and by plan. Consult a qualified, LGBTQ+-affirming attorney or financial professional before making decisions.